Online Lust With Vampires

Bruce Von Stiers

Vampires and vampire culture has been around for a couple of hundred years, possibly beginning with the novella, The Vampyre, by John Polidori. There has also been a whole slew of vampire films, some straight-forward, some strange and bizarre such as The Lost Boys and From Dusk Till Dawn.

What would happen if you took vampire lore and attach it to a modern media platform? A platform for sexual gratification such as Onlyfans? Well, someone has. It is a comedy horror film titled Onlyfangs.

The film starts out a hundred years ago. Two women are running down a path, trying to get away from someone. They cross a stream. Then the guy is there. He is admonishing the older woman, Neve, for trying to take away his prize possession, the younger woman, Scarlette. He glams the older woman and she is drawn to him. She gives a speech about rising up and then they will be free. Free of him and others. Then he cuts her head off. That seems to be an appropriate response for quelling rebellion, right?

It is now today. A young woman, Reece is doing a photo shoot. Scarlette is the photographer. Then she is alone with the master, Harvey. He starts to put the moves on her, she resists and then he bites her. He is a vampire, after all. He tells her to be part of the family or he will starve her, and worse.

Well, this doesn't bode well for Harvey. Scarlette and two other vampire women rise up and rebel against him, stabbing him, dismembering him and placing him in a trunk.

But now that they are without Harvey's protection and his wealth, how will they survive? They need money, along with a supply of victims to suck blood out of.

In the meantime, there is a guy named Wes. He, his sister Gwen, and their friend, Quinton, are monster hunters. They call themselves The Monster Boys. Wes sees Reece feeding on a guy she's on a date with and films it. He thinks that this is surefire proof that there are monsters out there. But the footage isn't great and his friends aren't convinced.

Somehow, Scarlette, Reece and their vampire colleagues, Selena and Zooey, find Wes and the group. Wes offers his video filming services. This sets up the remainder of the film well.

Through a quick series of events, Wes and Scarlette agree on a business partnership. Wes will set up a website and app that will promote the sexuality of female vampires. It seems that there is a whole freak element of society that would just love to have a hot vampire chick suck their blood, both virtually and in person. Wes recruits Gwen and Quinton to help out.

Well, the whole Onlyfangs thing takes off like a rocket. There are people all over the world who become subscribers. But there are the conspiracy theorists who think the whole thing is a scam or that there is something more nefarious going on. Wes and his friends have previously been party to conspiracy theory insanity. A couple of these friends bring in a loose cannon, Ridley, who thinks that there are children being kidnapped and other crazy things. Also thrown into the mix is a congressional candidate, Penelope Lynch, who thinks that the leftists are behind the whole thing, including the kidnapping of children. Not too unlike some of the current crop of ultra right-wing politicians in the U.S.

Things progress, money is being made and Quinton has a budding romance with Zooey. Wes is also becoming romantically entwined with Reece. But this may not be a good thing for either guy. And Wes is especially unhappy with Scarlette as she is trying to recruit Gwen to be one of the vamps.

Well, I had better stop there with the narration, or I'll give the entire plot away. Let's just say that the film is comical, kinda sorta romantic and deeply entrenched in vampire lore.

Kansas Bowling is Reece. She starred in Creeps Encounters and Boudoir. Nina Lanee Kent is Scarlette. Her previous films include Murdercise and Slashlorette Party.

Jessa Flux is Gwen. She starred in Crackcoon and co-starred in a film I reviewed not too long ago, Night of the Dead Sorority Babes. Drew Marvick is Wes. Horror films he's been include The House That Eats Flesh and Bathtub Shark Attack.

Adriana Uchishiba is the dangerous and murderous Selena. She has appeared in several music video and a couple of horror films, including one I recently reviewed, Flesh Of The Unforgiven. Meredith Mohler played Zooey. She was in Stokes River Haunting, Triggered and Children of Sin.

Shane Meyers is Quentin. He starred in The Life of the Mentos Man and co-starred in the short comedy film, Cash Puncher.

Ellie Church is Penelope Lynch. She starred in Satanic Soccer Mom From Ohio and co-starred in Thrust and Kill Giggles.

Bebe Bardot is Eva, one of the new girls that Scarlette recruits later in the film. She co-starred in Murdercise and has been a content provider on Onlyfans. August Kyss is Siren, one of the vampires who've attached themselves to Onlyfangs . She co-starred in Murdercise, Flesh of the Unforgiven and Death Bitch.

Delawna McKinney is Neve, the vampire beheaded at the start of the film. She starred in Streets of Vengeance and co-starred in Cinco De Mayo.

Ginger Lynn Allen plays Mimi, Wes and Gwen's mom. She was an adult film star for several years and has had roles in many mainstream films, including Slasherette Party, Killer Waves 2 and House of Many Sorrows.

Little Puck is Regina, another one of Scarlette's recruits. She has made over forty appearances in adult films and television programs.

Satta Murray is Ronnie, who was recruited along with Regina. She has appeared in a couple of music videos and starred in the horror short film, Wet Ingredients.

Lo Espinosa is Zara, yet another Scarlette recruit. Aside from appearing in film such as Cuddly Toys, she has directed a few music videos and done special effects on a few feature films, including this one.

Simona Rose is Ivana, a member of the Onlyfangs network who lives in Bulgaria. She has been in several horror films, including Drums and The Whisper 2: Natural Connection.

Robert Fourre is Ethan, one of the conspiracy theorists, and supposedly Wes's friend. He appeared in Murdercise and Streets of Vengeance. Tommy Fourre is Joel, another conspiracy nut. He was in Imperfect Sky and Streets of Vengeance.

Anthony lava To'omata is Ridley, the guy Ethan and Joel bring into things. He appeared in Murdercise, Streets of Vengeance and Cinco de Mayo.

Bryan Hurd is Wilhelm, a supposed legendary monster hunter who is Wes' idol. He appeared in Murdercise and Streets of Vengeance.

Nick Zagone is Harvey, the vampire master who the women rebelled against.

Dan Zampa is the cinematographer. He was the cinematographer for Streets of Vengeance and Slashlorette Party.

The screenplay was by Paul Ragsdale. He also directed the film. Angelica De Alba co-directed the film. Ragsdale co-directed Murdercise, Cinco de Mayo and Streets of Vengeance with De Alba. She was also the producer and screenwriter for several horror films.

Music in the film included songs by Pummeled, Decorate In Red, The Denim Kings with John Donovan, Total Wolf, Vestron Vulture, Andy Giver and The Striped Bananas.

Onlyfangs is an entertaining film that is absurd, but almost believable. That is if you believe in vampires and that the Onlyfans concept can be co-opted for a horror film story. The film doesn't take itself too seriously. And that's fine. I had to laugh more than once at the purely bizarre nature of the storyline. The acting was done well, and the special effects were good, especially a couple of scenes where blood spurts out of a victim's neck.

Onlyfangs had its world premiere a few days ago and was well received. The film is temporarily available as a digital download. Physical media of the film is being processed and streaming opportunities are forthcoming.

To find out more, and to see a trailer of the film, visit the Onlyfangs Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/onlyfangsmovie .

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© 2025 Bruce E Von Stiers